What a pleasure to be able to have a long-distance chat with Ana Eguaras, illustrator of The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t (Beaming Books)!
Ana is a freelance illustrator based in a small town in Spain. She earned her BFA in Fine Arts from the University of Salamanca in 2021. She now works from her home studio, which she shares with her boyfriend and their two cats, Lola and Linda. You can find her on Instagram @anaeguaras
Laura: There is a lot of darkness in this story (either at night or indoors with no power), but you do not use any black in your illustrations. Can you say more about how you chose your colour palette? Did you have a sense right away of what it would be? Or did you have to experiment a bit?
Ana: I definitely had to experiment quite a bit with the colors. In the early stages, my color sketches were much softer and more pastel. After receiving your feedback, and that of our wonderful editor, Naomi Krueger, I began reshaping the palette to better fit your vision for the book—something a little moodier, with deeper and more vibrant tones.
[Early sketch by Ana Eguaras]
From the very beginning, I was drawn to familiar, Christmassy colors—reds and greens that feel warm and nostalgic. You can see them most clearly in the spreads where Christmas starts to feel “normal” again for Aidan after the storm—like when he’s reading Christmas stories with his mom. Those warmer tones slowly give way to cooler turquoise hues in the scenes with his dad, when they go out for hot drinks and donuts for their neighbors. I wanted those moments to feel crisp and icy. Later on, the purples and oranges mark the moment when Aidan feels a deep connection to the Nativity story. The next day is when the light and warmth of Christmas truly return to him.
Laura: Some of the scenes in the story are very concrete, but a few are abstract, like when the main character feels a deep connection to the Christmas story and to family far away. Was this difficult for you to convey as an illustrator? Was there a spread that was particularly challenging?
Ana: I loved having the freedom to imagine and interpret those more abstract scenes in my own way. I think the most challenging spread was the one where Aidan and his parents are gazing at a magical beam of light filled with memories from the past few days, intertwined with images from the Nativity story. I wanted to include many different moments yet still keep the whole scene airy and dreamlike. It was a delicate balance to find—but also one of the most joyful and fulfilling to illustrate.
[illustration by Ana Eguaras]
Laura: I think you found that balance. That spread gave me goosebumps when I first saw it. It’s one of my favourites. Do you have a favourite spread in the book?
Ana: Yes! My favorite spread is the one where Aidan and his father go to the café and then visit a neighbor. It was such a joy to create, and I love the sense of warmth and community that it holds. In that spread, I was also able to play with white space, which was something I really wanted to explore in this book.
[illustration by Ana Eguaras]
One of the most special details for me in some of the spreads is the white cat. He wasn’t mentioned in the text, but he’s based on my childhood cat, Gatuki. I thought Aidan might need a little companion, though I wasn’t sure if the team would agree to include him. Not only did they love the idea—they even asked me to add him to other scenes! That cat carries so much personal meaning for me, and I’m so glad he became part of Aidan’s world.
Laura: I love the cat too and am glad to know more about where he came from! There is one scene where the cat is sitting with the other animals around the manger and he looks awestruck. There’s a humility and wonder in his eyes not typical of felines! As a cat person myself, I was touched by this detail. Where did you connect with this story?
Ana: I’ve always celebrated Christmas with my grandparents—for me, they were Christmas. When my granddad wasn’t there anymore, the holiday didn’t feel joyful; it didn’t feel like Christmas. I think the journey Aidan takes through the story is very much like the one I’ve had to follow myself: slowly finding that feeling of Christmas again in the little moments and traditions—its warmth, its light, and its quiet joy.
Now it’s Ana’s turn to ask the questions!
Ana: Thank you so much for having me and for your wonderful questions! It’s been such a pleasure to reflect on this story together. Here are a few questions I’d love to ask you in return! I know that The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t was inspired by real events and by a Christmas you experienced yourself. I was wondering when the idea for this book first began to take shape. Was it something you had been thinking about for a long time, or did it come to you as you were living through that experience?
Laura: The first flicker of an idea came to me on the first Christmas morning after the ice storm. Our own church building had been damaged, so we had joined the local Anglican congregation for worship. I found myself thinking about the chaos of the past few days and how the Christmas story sounded different in the midst of it. I made a few notes for myself, partly to preserve my memories of my own family’s experiences. Over the years I wrote many versions of it and discarded all of them because they were too long and wordy. I needed to pare back a lot of cluttery details. It took time for a more universal story to emerge from my reminiscences.
[photo courtesy of Laura Alary]
Ana: I’ve always been curious to know if any of the illustrations felt especially close to how you had imagined the story while you were writing it. Was there one that really captured what you had pictured in your mind?
Laura: Yes! It was the one where Aidan becomes a character in the nativity scene. I’m not a very visual writer. I tend to hear how words sound and feel their rhythm, but without picturing what is happening. However, I am sensitive to imagery so when the sketches start to come in, I quickly know whether or not they feel right to me. When I saw that spread with Aidan (and his cat) tucked in among the others at the manger, I felt a jolt of recognition and knew that you had captured in pictures exactly what I was trying to say with words.
[illustration detail by Ana Eguaras]
I also really love the cover and the inverted triangle of light created when Aidan holds the flashlight under his chin (a very natural thing for a kid to do). It’s very geometric and there’s something pleasantly unexpected about the light going up, rather than coming down from above. That scene also captures the surprise of the story because everything you expect to be glowing (the lights on the tree, for example) is in darkness.
Ana: In The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t, Aidan has to let go of many of his usual Christmas traditions and find new ways to celebrate. It made me wonder—what are some of the small traditions that make Christmas feel like Christmas for you?
Laura: When I think about the traditions that signal Christmas to me, they are mostly connected with either church or food: the tangy scent of the little box of mandarin oranges we got each year as a treat; the smell of my mom’s fruitcake and shortbread baking in the oven; old Advent hymns like O Come, O Come, Emmanuel and Of the Father’s Love Begotten; singing Silent Night by candlelight on Christmas Eve; hearing the words of the prologue to the Gospel of John read aloud in darkness. The good thing about all of these is that they have stayed consistent my whole life. I loved them as a child and still do.
Ana, thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me about this beautiful book we’ve made together. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed hearing your perspective on the process!
You can order The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t here. Don’t forget to download a copy of the Discussion and Activity Guide!
Laura Alary 